Is Everything Ok? Said the Waiter as We Ate Our Meals

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We went out to dinner last night at a local restaurant. About 10 minutes after we’d started eating our meals the waiter came over and asked, ‘Is everything ok?’

There’s nothing unusual in the question, ‘Is everything ok?’ But let’s take a look under the bonnet of this question.

In restaurants all over the world, waiters and waitresses ask one particular question in various languages. Generations of restaurant guests and hospitality staff have passed down this question. It is a simple and straightforward question that aims to check a box without any specific agenda. Let’s explore the reasons behind this question.

The Objective of the Question

There is none. It is just a tick-box exercise. There is no thought as to the objective and never has been for this question and what it is trying to achieve. The question has existed for a long time as a means of understanding the customer’s experience. Yet it does not. The waitress may as well ask, ‘Are you breathing?’ Because it will achieve the same tick-box objective.

Waiter asking guests at a restaurant 'is everything okay?'
Don’t ask questions only to tick the box!

 

Let’s look later at what a similar question could achieve. For now, let’s deconstruct the question.

Deconstructing the Question

Is Everything Ok?

‘Is’ – assume present tense, which is the right tense because the restaurant guests are still eating. That said, the other similar question is ‘Was everything ok?’, which is used when the plates are being cleared by the waiter.

‘Everything’ – That’s a big ask. You could answer with, ‘Well, my nan died yesterday, the dog got run over by my neighbour and I am at risk of redundancy’. But we assume that we are being asked about the restaurant, the service, the drinks, and specifically the meal, and whether we want anything else like sauces, more cutlery or to complain about the food being wrong or cold.

‘Ok’ – This is a positive word because it is used when we believe everything is alright.

‘Is everything ok?’ — a simple 3-word question that is closed, leading and positive. But what does this mean?

Closed:

This is so because the question can only be answered with yes or no. It does not illicit any more information other than a ‘Yes’ or ‘Yes, ok, thanks’. Most people, if not everyone, will reply without giving away anything further. An unlikely reply would be, ‘Yes, thanks, the steak is lovely’, because the question was closed and didn’t deserve much more than a yes.

Leading:

This is because of the word ‘ok’ which assumes that all is ok. Remember, the concept of all is positive. Nothing is wrong. It’s a bit like saying to a friend, ‘You’re ok aren’t you’. You’re leading them to say that all is ok. It’s much harder for your friend to respond negatively with a response like, ‘Not really’. Though some do. Most won’t because leading questions attune our minds that you want a positive reply. 

Positive:

Words like ‘Ok’, ‘satisfied’, and ‘Happy’.

The waitress asks a specific type of question that expects a specific answer, usually “Yes, thanks.” This question is designed to guide the customer towards a positive response. However, there are rare instances where customers may provide additional information, such as expressing their liking for a particular steak. On very few occasions, customers may respond negatively, providing a reason for their answer. ‘No, because…’.

As the Restaurant Owner

Senior female restaurant owner
As the owner, implementing this new insight is up to you

 

You own a chain of restaurants and armed with the knowledge above what do you now instruct your team to do? The same. Yes, of course. In fact, most, if not all restaurants do.

But you’re a little smarter than the average bear and want this interaction to mean something. So what do you do? If you want better information ask better questions.

For example:

Let’s Change the Closed Question to an Open One

Remember, ‘Is everything ok?’ is closed.

So how about ‘How is everything?’ We’ve all seen some restaurants do this. Unfortunately in most cases, the reply is ‘Good, thanks’. It doesn’t elicit the information we might want, so what do we want to know? 

Maybe, just maybe, we want to really know what guests think before they take to Tripadvisor to tell us. Wouldn’t that be great if guests actually told us what they think so that we can:

  • A) Fix the problem before the review is permanently bound to the history books for all to see,
  • B) We can improve the guests’ experience so that they have a great experience,
  • And C) Having had a great experience the guest might just write a great review permanently bound to the history books for all to see.

How do we achieve this?

Here’s a Fix…

Let’s make the question open, and not leading and specific – ‘How is your meal?’ Still no dice. I feel as if we might just get more of the same. Maybe a little more but still not much.

If we truly want to know what a guest thinks let’s go back to a leading question but a negative one. It might not be what we want to hear but it’s like receiving feedback. You might not want to hear it but they are already thinking it so you may as well know. 

 What one thing could we do to improve your experience?

Baffling? Maybe.

Imagine waiters asking this. Once the guest has got past the Oh, they’re not just asking me the question I can bat away quickly but they actually want to know. Hmmm. Wow. Erm. Ok. ‘I’d like more tartare sauce please’.

Done. Fixed. And that’s all it took to turn an ok experience into a good experience because the waitress cared enough to ask and then did it.
Small, easily fixable things often taint our experiences. Dirty cutlery, steak not cooked as we asked, or not enough chips. It costs the restaurant pennies to fix the ‘mistakes’ and yet if only they know, they could. With a question like ‘Is everything ok’, they’ll never find out.

Don’t Ask ‘Is everything ok?’ and Not Do

Male waiter preparing beverage in kitchen after asking 'is everything okay?'
Don’t lose your customers by only doing the first step

 

Some years ago O2 (mobile phone operator) sent me a letter offering me a free voucher for 33% off for being a loyal customer. Wow, lovely, I thought. I wouldn’t mind a new Bluetooth headset. I’d been looking for one. Perfect. Great timing.

Over the next 4 weeks, it took me 5 phone calls and in total 6 hours to redeem my voucher. What had started with a great gesture ended up with me moving networks when my contract was up because the experience had tainted my relationship with O2. It would have been better if the letter had never been sent.

Here’s the health warning – If you are going to ask and hope to get replies like ‘More sauce please’, then don’t forget. There is nothing worse than being asked, answering, and then in the case of the extra sauce request, it arrives after you have finished your meal. Don’t ask unless you can deliver. Otherwise, it is better just to ask, ‘Is everything ok?’

The Better Objective of the Question

Make the question useful for you to improve your business. Don’t let it be another inconsequential interaction between business and customer. Make it useful. 

How about a future where guests have nothing to say but good things because you have fixed the lack of tartare sauce or that the serviettes are cheap & nasty, or that the drinks are always late? What then? Upgrade again. Here’s a really baffling question waiters could ask.

What would make your experience fabulous?

We are then shooting for the stars with every customer, aiming to make every guests’ experience fabulous. Guests would be very happy, waiters over the moon with their tips, and the restaurant owner – laughing all the way to the bank. 

Maybe. Just maybe. But it’s much better than ‘Is everything ok?’

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