How to Build Empathy Into Your Organisation’s Core Systems

Empathy Doesn’t Scale Until You Build It Into the System

Empathy is easy when you are part of a small company. In a 10-person team, people talk often. They check in. They notice when someone is having a hard day. But in a company of 10,000? Things change. People get busy. Communication breaks down. Emotional Intelligence fades unless the system supports it.

I’ve seen companies say they care about their people. They have a wellness Slack channel. They offer a meditation app. Maybe they even put mental health quotes on the walls. But when you look closer, you see a different story. Managers don’t check in. Team meetings feel quiet or tense. Leaders make big decisions without telling people why.

This happens because most companies treat emotional intelligence as something personal. It’s something they expect from individuals. They don’t build it into the way the company works.

Here is the truth. You can’t grow emotional intelligence across a company by just hiring kind people. It won’t last. It gets lost in the middle layers. It disappears in rushed feedback. Even the best people can’t stay empathetic if the system around them does not support it.

This is where structural empathy comes in.

In this article, we’ll explain what structural empathy is. We’ll also show how companies like Microsoft, Airbnb, and Atlassian use emotional intelligence to create workplaces that are not only kind but also successful.

Because when empathy is part of the system, companies get better. People feel safer. Teams move faster. And work becomes more human.

The Myth of the Emotionally Intelligent Individual

When we hear the words “emotional intelligence,” we often think of people.

“She’s a really empathetic leader.”
“That manager knows how to read the room.”
“We’re hiring someone with high EQ.”

That’s great. A good leader who listens, supports others, and handles conflict well is valuable. But here’s the problem. You can’t build a caring workplace by just finding caring people.

Even a great person can’t fix a broken system.

I’ve seen it happen. A kind leader joins a team. But they still have to follow review systems that punish honesty. They work in a culture where people say “be open,” but punish anyone who speaks up. They try to support their team, but the tools and rules around them make it hard.

This is where most companies go wrong. They put all the focus on individuals. They forget to look at the bigger picture. Emotional intelligence needs a system that supports it. Not just a few good people.

It’s like praising a firefighter while ignoring the fact that the fire alarm doesn’t work.

Emotional intelligence is not just something people bring to work. It should also be part of the structure that surrounds them.

What does that look like?

It looks like a workplace where people feel safe to speak. Where feedback is honest, not just polite. Where leaders learn how to pause and listen, not just perform. Where meetings and messages are designed to be clear and respectful.

That’s what structural empathy looks like.

And this isn’t just a new way of talking about kindness. It’s a new way of building better companies. When you focus on systems instead of just people, you don’t need to hope for emotional intelligence. You create the conditions where it grows naturally.

In the next section, we’ll explain exactly what structural empathy means and how it works in real companies.

What Is Structural Empathy?

Let’s be clear. Structural empathy does not mean being nice. It is not about being soft or avoiding hard conversations. It means building your company in a way that helps people care for each other and work well together.

Structural empathy is about designing the systems that shape daily work. These include your rules, habits, tools, and team routines. It also includes how you hire, promote, and give feedback.

When a company has structural empathy, it becomes easier for people to feel safe, seen, and supported. That’s not just good for morale. It’s good for performance, too.

Here are a few examples:

Culture: Do people feel safe giving feedback to managers? Do your values show up in actions, or just in posters?

Communication: Do your leaders know how to explain hard news clearly? Do they listen before they respond?

Decision-making: Do employees get a say in changes that affect them? Or do plans just drop from above?

Workflows: After stressful projects or layoffs, do people get time to recover? Or are they expected to bounce back right away?

Let’s take hiring, for example. Most interviews reward confidence. But confidence is not the same as emotional intelligence. What if you asked questions that test for listening skills, honesty, or how someone handles conflict? That’s structural empathy.

Or imagine one-on-one meetings. One manager might ask, “How are you feeling this week?” That’s helpful. But what if your system made sure every manager asked that question each week? That is not just a nice idea. It’s a company standard.

The best companies don’t just hope people are emotionally intelligent. They create systems that support it.

Most companies don’t start this way. Many build it after things go wrong, after they grow too fast, lose trust, or watch people burn out. But the companies that get it right don’t just talk about emotional intelligence. They build it into how everything works.

In the next sections, we’ll show you how companies like Microsoft, Airbnb, and Atlassian are doing this and what you can learn from their approach to emotional intelligence.

Microsoft – Coaching as Culture

Microsoft is a great example of a company that changed how it works by focusing on emotional intelligence.

In the early 2010s, Microsoft was making money, but the workplace culture was not healthy. The company was known for being cold and overly competitive. Teams often worked against each other. Managers ranked employees in a way that forced them to compete for promotions. This led to stress and fear instead of trust and teamwork.

In 2014, Satya Nadella became CEO. He brought a new idea to Microsoft. He said, “Don’t be a know-it-all, be a learn-it-all.”

This was a big change. It meant employees did not have to always be right. Instead, they were encouraged to stay curious, help others, and keep learning. Nadella wanted to create a more open and supportive workplace.

He did not just talk about emotional intelligence. He changed the way the company worked so that managers and employees could practise it every day.

Do Your Learners Return from Training and Do Nothing Differently?

Our Sticky Learning ® method is 7x more effective than 1-day training courses. Plus, we deliver a Chain of Evidence report proving your Return on Investment. Discover Soft Skills Training that changes behaviours long-term.

Get Started Now

1. Coaching Became a Leadership Skill

Nadella wanted managers to act like coaches. This meant helping team members grow, listening more, and supporting people, especially when they struggled.

Microsoft started training managers on how to do this. They learned how to lead one-on-one meetings with care. They also learned how to stay calm during conflict and how to create a safe space for their teams.

These changes worked. A report shared in Harvard Business Review showed that employee satisfaction went up by 8% in just one year. Scores for “trust,” “respect,” and “support” also improved.

2. A New Way to Give Feedback

Nadella changed how performance reviews worked. Before, people were judged on results and how they compared to others. Now, employees were also measured on how they helped the team and how open they were to learning.

Managers no longer ranked people against each other. Instead, they looked at how each person supported the group’s goals. This made feedback feel fairer and less stressful.

3. Leading by Sharing Personal Stories

Nadella also changed how leaders communicate. In one of his first company emails, he shared a personal story about his son, who had cerebral palsy. He talked about how raising his son taught him the meaning of empathy and how it changed him as a leader.

This message was powerful. It showed that being open and caring is a strength. It set the tone for the rest of the company.

The Results

These changes made a big impact.

• Microsoft moved from #86 to #13 on Glassdoor’s “Best Places to Work” list between 2015 and 2023
• Trust at work went up by over 20%, based on Gallup surveys
• Microsoft’s market value grew from $300 billion to over $2.8 trillion

This proves that building a more human workplace can lead to strong business results.

What Leaders Can Learn

If you want to grow a company with strong emotional intelligence, start with your managers. Teach them to be curious, kind, and open. Make sure your review systems reward teamwork and learning. And lead by example. When leaders show empathy, others will follow.

Airbnb – Crisis Communication With Heart

In early 2020, the COVID-19 pandemic caused global travel to stop. Almost overnight, Airbnb lost 80% of its income. The company had no choice but to make major cuts. Thousands of employees were going to lose their jobs.

Many big companies handle layoffs in a cold and formal way. The messages are often full of legal terms. There is little kindness or clear communication. But Airbnb did something different. They showed that even in hard times, you can lead with care.

1. The Layoff Letter That Stood Out

When CEO Brian Chesky told employees about the layoffs, he wrote a clear and heartfelt letter. Nearly 1,900 people were let go, but the message was not cold or distant. He wrote, “I am truly sorry. Please know this is not your fault. The world will never stop seeking the qualities that made you shine here.”

The letter was honest and human. He did not try to avoid the pain. He spoke to people with respect.

The letter became very popular on LinkedIn and in business news. Today, it is even used as an example at Harvard Business School for how to lead during a crisis.

It worked because Chesky didn’t just say the right words. He also took the right actions.

2. The Support That Followed

Airbnb did not stop at writing a kind message. They also helped their employees move forward.

Here’s what they offered:

• Everyone who was laid off got 14 weeks of base pay
• Employees received one extra week of pay for each year they worked at Airbnb
• They were allowed to keep their laptops to help with job searching
• The company created a public list of former employees to help recruiters find them
• Airbnb’s own recruiters were moved to help those who were leaving, giving them support with job applications and interviews

In a year when many tech companies were letting people go through short emails or sudden calls, Airbnb’s actions stood out. They treated people with care and dignity.

And the result was clear: people noticed. The company did not lose trust. It gained more.

 The Results Were Strong

Airbnb’s actions led to real, positive results.

• The company kept a 4.6 out of 5 rating on Glassdoor, even after the layoffs
• In 2022, Airbnb was named #1 on the Axios Harris Poll of most trusted companies in the US
• When Airbnb went public at the end of 2020, it had one of the most successful stock launches of the year. The stock price more than doubled on the first day

The trust they built during hard times helped them grow stronger.

What Leaders Can Learn

Empathy in leadership is not just about what you say. It is about what you do. When you face hard choices, people will remember how you treated them.

If your company does not have a plan for how to lead with care during hard moments, it’s time to create one. Think about how you will support people. Think about how you will communicate clearly and kindly.

Because when things get hard, you don’t rise to the level of your best ideas. You fall to the level of your systems.

Atlassian – Building a Safe Place to Work

Atlassian is a tech company that makes popular tools like Trello, Jira, and Confluence. It has more than 11,000 employees in offices around the world.

The company is known for helping people work better together. But it also focuses on something many large companies forget: making sure people feel safe and respected at work.

This is called psychological safety, and Atlassian has built it into the way their teams work.

1. A Tool That Helps Teams Talk Openly

Atlassian created a simple system called the Team Health Monitor. Teams meet regularly and talk about how they’re doing not just with tasks, but as people.

They rate themselves on things like:

• Trust
• Clear goals
• Feeling safe to speak up
• Team balance and support

This helps teams see what’s working and what needs to improve. The goal is not to be perfect. The goal is to check in often and talk openly.

These meetings are short, simple, and part of the company’s regular routine. That’s what makes them work.

2. Openness Is a Company Rule

Atlassian also follows a rule they call “Open company, no secrets.” That means employees can ask leaders tough questions. It means feedback is shared respectfully. It also means teams don’t hide problems, they talk about them.

They even share their company playbooks online so anyone can see how they work.

Leaders at Atlassian are trained to listen more than they speak. They also learn how to handle conflict in a calm and helpful way. This all comes from emotional intelligence.

This creates a culture where people feel safe to try new things, speak their minds, and ask for help when needed.

The Results Speak for Themselves

This focus on emotional safety has helped the company grow and succeed.

• Atlassian was ranked #7 on the World’s Best Workplaces list in 2023
• Over 90% of their employees feel engaged at work
• A company survey showed that 84% of employees feel safe taking risks or sharing honest opinions
• Their Glassdoor rating is 4.6 out of 5, and many reviews praise the culture of trust and openness
• Their market value rose from $5 billion in 2016 to more than $45 billion in 2024

So while some companies push for speed at any cost, Atlassian shows that building trust and safety is good for both people and business.

What Leaders Can Learn

If you want your teams to speak up, work well together, and stay strong during challenges, you need to make them feel safe. Not just with words, but with structure.

• Set up short team check-ins about how people are feeling
• Train managers to handle feedback and tension with care
• Give everyone a voice, not just the loudest people

And most of all, don’t wait for things to break before you start listening.

What Happens When You Don’t Design for Empathy

Let’s talk about what happens when empathy is missing from the way a company works. When it is treated like a nice extra instead of something every workplace needs.

Here is what happens: emotional debt starts to build up. It grows slowly at first. But over time, it creates big problems.

What Is Emotional Debt?

In business, people talk about technical debt. That means making quick or messy decisions to save time now, but paying for it later. Emotional debt works the same way.

It shows up as:

• Unkind comments that no one addresses
• Confusing feedback that leaves people feeling lost
• “Open door” policies that sound good but are never actually used

When emotional debt builds up, people stop speaking honestly. They lose trust in leaders. They become quiet or stressed. A 2022 McKinsey report found that the top reason people leave jobs is not pay. It is because they don’t feel valued by their manager or their company. That is emotional debt in action.

And just like money debt, emotional debt becomes more costly the longer you ignore it. It can lead to high turnover, poor teamwork, and lost ideas.

A Real Example: Uber’s Culture Problem

Let’s look at Uber. During its fast growth, the company made headlines for bad behaviour inside the workplace. Reports showed harassment, pressure, and bullying. Many leaders ignored these problems.

But in 2017, a former engineer named Susan Fowler wrote about what was happening. Her story revealed just how bad the culture had become. This led to more than 20 top leaders leaving. Uber’s public image was damaged. They almost lost their business license in London. Even their stock market launch was delayed.

This was emotional debt that had been ignored for too long. And it cost them money, trust, and reputation.

The Hidden Problem: Middle Management

Even in companies with good values, empathy can still fail. The problem often starts in the middle layers. Middle managers lead most of the teams, but many are not trained in emotional intelligence.

A 2023 Gallup report said only 1 in 3 managers feel ready to have real and honest conversations with their teams. That means most managers do not feel able to support people emotionally. This breaks the chain of trust between workers and the company.

And here’s why this matters. According to Harvard Business Review, when employees feel safe to speak up, they are:

• 76% more engaged
• 50% more productive
• 57% more likely to work well with others

That is what happens when empathy is built into the system. You get better results, happier teams, and fewer problems.

My Opinion: What I See in Real Workplaces

Let me be honest. Most companies do not have an empathy problem. They have a system problem. They train people to do tasks, but not to lead with care.

I’ve seen companies that talk about mental health while sending messages late at night. I’ve seen slides that talk about “belonging” while no one dares to speak up in meetings.

The truth is simple: you can’t grow empathy with slogans. You grow it by building systems that support it.

If you don’t build empathy into your company now, it will cost you later. You’ll see it in exit interviews, in bad online reviews, and in people who no longer trust you.

How to Build Structural Empathy at Scale

Empathy cannot only happen in small moments. Emotional intelligence needs to be part of the way a company works every day. If it is not built into the system, it will not last.

That means companies need to design empathy into how they give feedback, lead teams, and make decisions. It should not just be a value written on the wall. It should be something people can see and feel in how the company operates.

Here are some ways big companies can do that.

1. Include Emotional Intelligence in Promotions and Reviews

If you only reward results, people will focus only on performance. This can hurt trust, teamwork, and empathy.

Some companies, like Google and Cisco, now look at how managers lead, not just what they deliver. For example, Google rates leaders on how well they create a safe space and support their teams.

What leaders can do:

• Check your review process. Does it include skills like communication, listening, and support?
• Talk about emotional intelligence when making promotion decisions.
• Share clear examples of the behaviours you want to see in leaders.

2. Use Regular Feedback to Check on Team Wellbeing

Many companies only ask for feedback once a year. But a lot can happen in that time. Teams can feel stressed, unheard, or overworked. Companies that care about empathy ask more often and act on what they learn.

You can use tools like Culture Amp or Officevibe. Or, you can keep it simple with short surveys that ask about support and workload.

What leaders can do:

• Ask easy questions every month, like:
  • “Do you feel safe sharing concerns?”
  • “Is your workload okay right now?”
  • “Do you feel supported by your manager?”
• Share what you learn with the team.
• Choose one small thing to improve based on the results.

This helps you notice problems early, before they grow.

3. Make Psychological Safety Part of Team Life

In healthy teams, people feel safe to speak up and make mistakes. They trust each other. That doesn’t happen by chance. It happens when leaders set up space to reflect and talk openly.

At Atlassian, teams use something called a “Team Health Monitor.” It helps them check in on trust, teamwork, and safety. At Pixar, teams give feedback often, not just once a year.

What leaders can do:

• Give teams time to talk about how they work together.
• Add check-ins to team meetings or project reviews.
• If things feel tense or quiet, ask about it. Don’t ignore it.

Feeling safe at work does not come from words. It comes from actions, patterns, and how people respond when something feels wrong.

4. Improve Onboarding So People Feel They Belong

The first few weeks at a job are important. That is when people decide if they feel safe and included. Most companies only focus on tools, tasks, and rules. But the best companies help new hires feel welcome and connected.

At HubSpot, new employees take part in group learning and mentoring. They are shown how people support each other with emotional intelligence, not just how to do their job.

What leaders can do:

• Pair each new hire with a buddy they can talk to about culture.
• Teach how your team communicates, gives feedback, and asks for help.
• Ask new hires how they are feeling after their first month.

The first impression should show that emotional intelligence matters here.

5. Think About How Decisions Will Affect People

Big changes like layoffs, team reshuffles, or fast growth can hurt trust if they are handled without care. Many companies forget about the emotional impact. Some, like Airbnb, do it differently.

During COVID-19, Airbnb had to lay off workers. But they made sure their message was kind, personal, and clear. They also gave real support to those affected.

What leaders can do:

• Before you make a big change, ask:
  • “How will this make people feel?”
  • “What support will they need?”
• Let the people team help shape the message.
• After the change, hold space for honest questions and listening.

How you handle hard moments is what people remember most.

6. Track How People Feel at Work

If you never ask how people feel, you cannot improve. Emotional Intelligence can be measured just like profit or goals. Cisco, for example, tracks trust and team morale in the same way it tracks results.

What leaders can do:

• Pick three to five things to track, like team trust or manager support.
• Include them in regular team reports.
• Share what changed based on the feedback.

It doesn’t have to be perfect. But it has to be ongoing.

The Bottom Line

This is not about small tips for being nicer at work. It is about building systems where emotional intelligence is part of everyday life.

If you want a workplace where people feel heard, respected, and safe, you need to design for that on purpose. Make empathy part of how the company runs, not just something you hope people bring with them.