How I Realised What ‘Comparison is the Thief of Joy’ Really Means…
I hear people talk about comparison being the thief of joy, or that you shouldn’t compare where you are in the book, versus others, as you are reading different books. I’d understood, but never really got it completely until today in the swimming pool (De-icing the car at -4 °C to drive 1 mile to the leisure centre – was I mad? A question for another day).
There were four of us doing lane swimming this morning. As we all went up & down the lanes, I was thinking about the guy who had just overtaken me. Swimming etiquette is that, as you get to the end of your length, if someone is on your tail, you sort of pull over to the side. You let them spin & start their next length. It took me years to figure this is what you are supposed to do. For a time, I did find it odd that someone touched my foot as you swam, which is an indicator to pull over (Who knew? Not me).
He’d overtaken me, and I was thinking that maybe I should be swimming as fast as he does, and I did, and then I overtook a different guy and that made me feel better.
Then it dawned on me…
The guy who had overtaken me could have been on his 3rd length, while I was on my 20th. And the guy I’d overtaken could have been on his 40th, while I was on my 22nd.
I was comparing, not knowing at what stage of their journey they were on.
That was the first dawning moment.
The second…
It doesn’t matter anyway. They might ultimately ‘be better’. If I think for a moment that I am the best at this, I have already lost. It reminded me of a famous coaching video, which I love, of Mr Dick (watch this video – ‘What is Winning?). He is asked by a young girl why was it OK to come last, and his philosophy was that previously she had not finished the arc, and that the only challenge was to be better than you were last time.
But I couldn’t have got to the second dawning moment without the first happening.
I’m sure, reading this, you understood the whole comparison thing a long time ago…stop…there I go again. It doesn’t matter. The important part is that I got it now.
The moral?
Don’t even mention the woman wearing the ‘M’ swimming cap this morning (That is an Iron Man cap). No comparison needed. She rocks!
This article was written by Darren A. Smith for The Grocer. View the original article.
