How Unlearning Old Leadership Habits Drives Growth and Enhances Team Performance
Let’s be honest; most leadership advice out there sounds the same. More confidence. More skills. More tools. It’s all about adding more. But here’s a secret: Real leadership isn’t always about learning more. It’s about letting go.
Many leaders struggle not because they lack knowledge but because they’re stuck in old habits. These are habits that made them successful in the past but don’t work anymore. Habits like needing to control everything, always having the answer, or working non-stop to prove their worth.
In this article, we’re flipping the script. Instead of asking “What do great leaders do?” we’re asking, “What do they stop doing?” We’ll explore what unlearning means in leadership development, why it’s powerful, and how the world’s best leaders are using it to lead better with less stress and more trust.
You’ll hear real examples from companies like Microsoft and Netflix. We’ll break down five common habits leaders need to drop now. And most importantly, I’ll show you how to start unlearning in your own workplace with simple, clear steps you can try today.
The Myth of More: Why Leadership Development is Broken
Most people think being a better leader means learning more. More tools. More books. More skills. It sounds smart, right? But here’s the problem: it doesn’t always work in leadership development.
It can actually make things worse.
We keep stacking new ideas on top of old ones. But what if those old habits are the real problem? You can’t build strong leadership development on top of shaky beliefs.
Think about it. If a leader believes they must always have the answer, they’ll never let their team speak up. If they think working non-stop means they care, they’ll burn out. And if they believe being in control means being a good boss, they’ll never build trust.
It’s not about learning more. It’s about letting go.
According to the Harvard Business Review, companies around the world spend over $366 billion every year on leadership development. Yet, McKinsey found that 75% of these programs fail to produce lasting behavioural change.
Why? Because they focus on adding new skills instead of removing bad habits.
I’ve seen this myself. Leaders go to training, get a new framework, and then go right back to doing things the old way. Nothing changes.
“The best leadership isn’t about gaining power. It’s about losing your need to prove it.” — Frances Frei, Harvard Business School
What Actually Works: Subtraction Before Addition
If you want leaders to grow, start by identifying what needs to be unlearned in leadership development.
1. Design “Trigger Mapping” Instead of Personality Assessments
Forget self-awareness exercises that lead to vague generalizations. Instead, map emotional triggers.
Have leaders reflect on moments where they overreact, shut down, or dominate conversations. Ask: What belief was I protecting? What fear was at play?
At Pixar, leaders realised that emotional reactions were blocking creativity. Instead of personality tests, they focused on emotional triggers. In their “Braintrust” meetings, directors showed rough cuts of films and got honest feedback from their peers. The main trigger? Ego and fear of failure. But by making these sessions normal, low-risk, and regular, they helped leaders handle feedback better. This created trust and openness over time.
Ed Catmull, former Pixar President, said: “Candor is key to our creative process.”
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2. Remove Tools Before Introducing New Ones
Before adding a new performance management tool or leadership model, ask what current systems are undermining the desired behaviour.
In 2012, Adobe stopped using the traditional yearly performance review. They realised it wasn’t helpful. Even with training on feedback, the system caused stress. Managers started focusing more on rankings than real development.
So Adobe removed the old system. They replaced it with “Check-ins,” which were frequent and casual conversations between managers and employees. Without the pressure of rankings, employees gave and received better feedback. This led to a 30% drop in turnover and increased productivity.
3. Add “Slow Thinking” Rituals
In complex environments, fast, reactive thinking creates more problems than it solves. But most leadership training encourages decisiveness and confidence. Instead, teach deliberate slowness.
At Bridgewater Associates, Ray Dalio made slow thinking a core part of their leadership. The company’s culture manual says: “Pain + Reflection = Progress” When a mistake happens, leaders are expected to pause, think about it, and learn from it.
It’s not about waiting too long to decide but about thinking deeply before acting. This way of thinking has helped Bridgewater stay successful for years, even in tough markets.
4. Make Unlearning a Shared Ritual, Not a Private Exercise
Leadership development shouldn’t be isolated. Build collective habits around unlearning.
When Satya Nadella became CEO of Microsoft, the company needed a change. He didn’t just add more leadership training; he changed the company’s culture.
Meetings stopped being about showing off successes. Instead, leaders shared what went wrong and what they learned. This openness became normal. It encouraged curiosity and a willingness to experiment.
Since then, Microsoft has grown and improved. Collaboration is stronger, and innovation is back. The company’s value has tripled.
5 Leadership Habits You Should Unlearn Immediately
1- The Hero complex
How to fix it:
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Instead of jumping in to fix issues, start by asking guiding questions like “What do you think we should do?” or “How do you want to approach this?” These questions help your team develop critical thinking and problem-solving skills.
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Empower your team by allowing them to make decisions. When teams have the autonomy to make choices without constant approval, they feel more accountable and capable. For example, Netflix trusts its teams to make decisions without always needing approval from upper management. This not only boosts creativity but also drives a sense of ownership and responsibility.
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Create low-risk opportunities for your team to make decisions and potentially fail. Failing is a crucial part of growth. Celebrate lessons learned from failure, not just successes. This approach encourages risk-taking and fosters a culture of learning.
2. The Hustle Addiction
Unlearning urgency as a badge of honor: It’s easy to believe that working long hours and always being “on” means you’re productive. However, constantly hustling without a clear focus can lead to burnout and poor decision-making. Urgency should not be a measure of productivity.
How to fix it:
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Prioritise “deep work,” where you focus on important tasks without distractions. This could mean setting aside blocks of time each day for uninterrupted focus. For instance, Dropbox shifted to an asynchronous work model, reducing meetings and giving employees more space to work deeply and creatively. This not only increased productivity but also boosted employee well-being.
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Implement a “no meeting” day each week. By removing meetings from one day, you give yourself and your team the opportunity to focus on high-impact work without interruptions. This practice will help everyone shift from reactive work to proactive, deep thinking.
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Set boundaries for work and personal life. If you’re always available, your team will feel pressured to be the same. Clearly communicate when you’re offline, and encourage your team to do the same. This model helps create a healthier work-life balance and fosters better long-term productivity.
3. Feedback = Fixing
Unlearning that feedback is about correction: Many leaders see feedback as a way to correct mistakes. However, feedback should be a tool for growth and development, not just for pointing out flaws. When feedback is seen as negative, employees may feel defensive or discouraged.
How to fix it:
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Frame feedback as an opportunity for growth rather than correction. For example, instead of saying, “You didn’t do this correctly,” try saying, “Here’s an area where you can improve and grow.” This shift focuses on future development, making the feedback more encouraging.
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Make feedback a two-way conversation. Ask your team how they think they could improve or what challenges they’re facing. Atlassian, for example, trains its managers to ask, “What’s one thing I can do to support you better?” This approach fosters a culture of support rather than correction.
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Use positive reinforcement. For every piece of constructive feedback, highlight at least two things that went well. This balanced approach ensures that employees feel appreciated and encouraged to grow, rather than solely focused on areas needing improvement.
4. Presence = Pressure
Unlearning the idea that leaders should be on 24/7: Many leaders feel the pressure to always be available and working nonstop. This mindset can lead to burnout, not only for the leader but for the whole team. Leadership doesn’t require you to be present all the time; it’s about setting the right example for balance.
How to fix it:
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Lead by example when it comes to work-life balance. If you’re always answering emails at 9 PM or working weekends, your team will feel obligated to do the same. Set clear boundaries for when you are available and when you’re offline. Patagonia, for instance, offers leadership retreats focusing on mindfulness and deceleration, where leaders are encouraged to slow down and reflect. By setting boundaries, you create space for healthier work habits for yourself and your team.
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Introduce mindfulness practices to your leadership routine. This can be as simple as incorporating a brief mindfulness exercise before meetings or at the beginning of the day. This can help clear your mind, reduce stress, and improve focus.
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Encourage deceleration. Just as you have times of intense work, you should also have moments of reflection and slowing down. These moments are essential for strategic thinking and mental clarity. Set aside time each week or month for “deceleration” time to reflect and think strategically about your goals and team dynamics.
5. Expert Over Listener
Unlearning the need to always be the smartest in the room: Leaders often feel they need to have all the answers. However, the most effective leaders are those who listen more than they speak. Listening to your team not only strengthens relationships but also sparks innovative ideas that may not have occurred to you.
How to fix it:
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Start by adopting a curious mindset. Rather than rushing to give answers, ask your team for their perspectives and ideas. This opens up opportunities for creativity and collaboration. At Google, Project Oxygen found that psychological safety, where employees feel heard and respected, outperforms technical expertise every time.
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Encourage diverse perspectives by actively seeking input from everyone on your team, not just the experts. By creating an environment where everyone’s voice matters, you foster a culture of innovation. Start team meetings with open-ended questions like, “What’s your perspective on this?” or “How do you think we can approach this problem?”
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Focus on asking more questions rather than offering immediate solutions. This not only helps you better understand the team’s needs but also allows team members to feel valued for their input. The simple act of asking, “How do you think this can be improved?” invites collaboration and empowers everyone to contribute.
Start Here: A Mini Unlearning Framework for Leaders
This framework is for leaders who want to change things up and become better at what they do. It’s simple, practical, and easy to start right now. It’s like a checklist to help you begin unlearning old habits and trying new ways of leading.
1. Identify Your “Stuck” Story
Think about the beliefs that got you here in your leadership development journey. What did you believe in the past that helped you succeed but might not be helping you anymore? For example, maybe you think, “I need to always be in control,” or “I have to have all the answers.” These beliefs helped you get where you are, but now ,they might be stopping you from growing.
For me, I realised I used to think that I had to control everything. But I learned that I had to trust my team more. This shift made me a better leader and improved my leadership development. Once you know what’s “stuck,” it’s easier to let go of it. You start being more flexible and open to new ideas, which accelerates your leadership development.
2. Create a Safe-to-Fail Space
As a leader, it’s important that your team feels safe to make mistakes. Failure isn’t something to be afraid of. It’s actually how we learn. Creating a “safe-to-fail” space means encouraging your team to try new things even if they might fail. When they fail, they can learn from it, and everyone grows, contributing to their leadership development.
I’ve seen companies where leaders create this kind of space. When people feel safe, they are more creative and take ownership of their work. They aren’t afraid to make mistakes, so they try new things that could end up working. As a leader, you need to encourage this kind of environment. It builds trust and makes your team stronger.
3. Practice ‘Leader as Coach’
One of the most powerful shifts you can make as a leader is moving from being the person who tells everyone what to do to being a coach who guides your team. Instead of giving out answers, ask questions that help them find solutions on their own. This shift from directive leadership to developmental leadership fosters leadership development by helping your team members think for themselves, learn, and grow.
Start by asking questions like, “What do you think is the best approach here?” or “How would you solve this if you were in my shoes?” These questions guide your team toward finding their own solutions and help them build critical thinking skills. As a coach, you’re not just leading your team, you’re helping them grow into stronger, more capable leaders, supporting their leadership development.
4. Do One ‘Silent Leadership’ Act This Week
Sometimes, the best thing you can do as a leader is to step back. Let others take the lead. This doesn’t mean you’re not doing your job; it means you’re giving space for others to shine. This week, try one “silent leadership” act. It could be letting someone else lead a meeting or admitting that you don’t know something. These moments of humility contribute to your leadership development.
For instance, if you’re always the one to speak up first in meetings, try holding back and letting someone else share their thoughts. By doing this, you empower your team members to step up and take ownership of the situation, which is a key aspect of leadership development. It also shows that leadership isn’t always about having the loudest voice; it’s about creating a space where others can lead, too.
5. Reflect Weekly
At the end of each week, take time to think about what you did or didn’t do that helped your team grow. For example, maybe you didn’t jump in to solve a problem. Or you didn’t micromanage a project. These small things matter. Reflect on what went well, and think about how you can do even better next week. Reflection also lets you see patterns in your behaviour.
For example, if you realise that you often jump in to solve problems, it may be time to work on trusting your team more. Reflection helps you notice the little things that make a big difference in leadership. I do this every week, and it helps me notice patterns. I used to interrupt people a lot in meetings, but after reflecting, I realised I didn’t need to do that. Now, I let others speak up more, and it makes our team meetings stronger, fostering a healthier leadership development culture.
Conclusion: The Power of Unlearning to Lead Better
Becoming a great leader isn’t just about learning new things sometimes, it’s about unlearning old habits that no longer serve your leadership development. As you challenge the “stuck” stories in your mind, create a space where failure is safe, practice coaching over telling, and allow others to lead, you open the door for deeper growth, stronger collaboration, and more effective leadership.
Leadership isn’t a fixed skill set. It’s a journey of continuous growth, reflection, and evolution. By implementing the simple, practical steps outlined in this framework, you’ll not only become a better leader but also inspire your team to lead in ways that are creative, empowered, and forward-thinking.
Remember, leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about knowing when to ask the right questions, when to step back, and when to trust your team. Embrace the power of unlearning, and watch your leadership and your team thrive in new and unexpected ways.
