Thank you for buying the MBM Coaching Cards, and then for following the link in the cards to this page. This bonus resources page will support you, the Coach, even further with 2 New Coaching Approaches and 8 Common Mistakes
2 New Coaching Approaches
#1 Upgrade GROW with GROWTH
Having used the coaching cards and having got a handle on how the GROW coaching model works you can start to build on this foundation.
Also, as the coaching leader, you can start to help the coachee (which may be yourself) explore the tactics that will help to bring the goal to life and the longer-term habits that will be required in order to keep the momentum in a place way beyond when the motivation drops off.
The below image is shared from our ‘Ultimate Guide to Coaching’;
T – Tactics
How will you make this happen?
What will you put in place to make sure you take immediate action?
What tools can you use to regularly remind you about your commitment to this?
Where can you anchor reminders to move forward on this goal?
Who have you got in your daily accountability team other than me?
What else have you seen other people do that has helped them stay the course?
What do you need to optimise to get this started?
How will you track your habits? (a great question to lead you into the final stage)
H – Habits
How do you sustain your success?
What habits need to change to help this move forward?
What behaviours will hold you back from this goal?
What habits can you stack in order to build momentum?
What do you need to say ‘No’ to?
How will you celebrate your successes along the way?
“Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat.” – Sun Tzu, famous strategist (545 BC – 470 BC)
The Habits are your Strategy. Without them the Tactics will religiously stop-start over and over again and not give you the impetus to move yourself and your current challenges forward in the best possible way.
Once you’ve started making good use of the first 4 parts of GROW in your coaching conversations start incorporating the next questions and see what comes up and out as you start to build more structures and integrity into people’s development, including your own.
#2 Getting to know OSKAR
GROW is a great starting point for any coach, at the same time having some extra angles and models to help someone work their problem through is hugely beneficial and helps to provide some extra questioning tactics.
This might be a new model for you, especially if you’ve only started your coaching journey with our cards. If you’d like to expand your coaching know-how, you can find more in our ‘Ultimate Guide’.
As part of this resource boost I’ve included an overview, with an added extra set of questions to help you get even greater results when coaching;
- Outcome – help coachee establish outcome(s) and objectives.
- Scaling – utilise a scale from 1-10 to establish and quantify how far the coachee is from where they want to be (desired outcome).
- Know-how – help the coachee explore what they need to achieve their desired outcome (and move along the scale), exploring the key skills, knowledge, qualifications, and attributes that are required.
- Affirm + Action – establish what is currently working well, and explore actions needed to improve the score.
- Review – discuss actions taken, decide what has improved and what the coachee needs to do next to continue the improvement.
Scale plays an interesting part in our mindset. The perceived enormity of something can have an equally positive or negative impact depending on how we think about it. In having an honest view of where we are and also where we truly want to be, we can start to build actions and take steps that work around the obstacles and move us into something really incredible.
By making use of this in our OSKAR model, we can incorporate 2 extra scaling steps;
Scale 1. Distance (as above).
Establish and quantify how far the coachee is from where they want to be (desired outcome) 1-10 1 = not even started, a million miles away 10 = on the money and achieving.
Action – This is all about helping the coachee understand where they are right now and what the journey looks like ahead. Ask this question and help them see what the road looks like, but also take the time to celebrate how far they’ve already come. No one is truly a 1 on this scale.
Ask them “what have you done and learned this far that is moving you forward?”
Scale 2. Current challenges.
Establish the size of the current obstacles blocking the desired outcome 1 = easily manageable 10 = insurmountable.
This opens up a dialogue to get into the ‘Know-how’ and support inquiry about resources that will enable this challenge to be met fully.
Action – Signpost to your coachee you want to have a look at the current challenges with a view to breaking these down into smaller bite-sized chunks in order to make the outcome possible.
Scale 3. The actual size of the desired outcome.
In most businesses we’re taught to set small, realistic goals and then wonder why we’re not engaged and are actually uninspired. If you know how to achieve the goal when you set it, it’s too small and it means it’s being set inside your comfort zone.
Setting big goals is not demotivating or unrealistic. Quite the opposite.
Make the steps and objectives realistic, make the goal inspiring.
Action – Ask your coachee “If this conversation were to stop right now would you know how to achieve your goal?” If the answer comes back as yes, let them know it’s too small. Then ask “What’s a truly stretching goal that would create a deep sense of gratification when accomplished?”
“For most of us the problem isn’t that we aim too high and fail – it’s just the opposite – we aim too low and succeed.” Sir Ken Robinson
Get really positive about helping your coachee get really honest with themselves. The deeper the understanding the more actionable the steps will be. By doing this, when we get to the ‘Affirm and Action’ we can then create realistic objectives and put steps in place that make all of this come together.
8 Common Coaching Mistakes
- Telling not Asking
We get our coaching skills; Great!
But rather than apply them, we go back to what we think is easier and quicker and just stick to ‘Telling’. The problem is that most people have already been telling for some time, which is why they end up on a coaching course. Because the telling wasn’t working in the first place. Rather than try the new skills out and go through what seems like a messy experience of changing the dialogue we go back to what we were doing before.
What happens when you tell?
People stop thinking because you’re not inspiring them to. As a result, they keep coming back, and back, and back. Again, and again. Yet if you think coaching takes a bit longer, try adding up the time you’ll accumulate in answering the same question repeatedly for the next 20 years.
Solution – Use the coaching skills and ask more questions. Go back to your coaching cards, find the most useful or valuable one and ask that. Keep it on your desk to remind you. Even stick one to your computer screen to remind you each day to ask a new question. Keep doing the reps.
- Leading Questions
We know the answer. We think we’ve got some coaching skills. Rather than tell we ask leading questions.
This is dictating cleverly disguised as coaching to maintain the balance of power in the relationship.
“I know the answers, you still have to come to me” – Not so handy when you’re off sick, or AFK whilst at home during a pandemic.
The key point here is coaching is a 2-way learning experience. You will learn just as much from them as they learn from your questioning. But if you’re asking leading questions, you’ll just hear your own words in a different voice.
“I learn nothing from the sound of my own voice” – unknown
Solution – Ask questions with little to no agenda and see what comes up. If you’re finding the transition from a tell to an ask culture painful, ask an extra question every time that person comes to see you for information. Start with 1, then 2 and so on until they’re used to this type of conversation.
- Giving Advice
Just as criminal as the first 2, but with a slight twist.
How many people have given relationship advice to a friend?
How often has that advice not gone according to plan?
And who’s fault was it?
Why? Because you gave them the advice. It is impossible to give clear, specific instruction to people and for it to always go the way it’s meant to. Your life; experiences, relationships and ways of interacting are completely different from those of your team members. To tell them what to do based on how you approach the world is foolish, to say the least.
And remember you have to work with these people tomorrow and the day after. Poor, unqualified advice when it goes wrong has a lasting impact.
Solution – Don’t do it. The best thing to do Tell stories and ask more questions about what the coachee heard that is useful to them. This potentially moves us into the realms of mentoring.
- Not qualified
Firstly, use and develop the skills you’re building in coaching, practice on yourself regularly, practice with your team and build your skills up.
Secondly, remember what you’re qualified to do. Leading on from giving advice, you have gained a handful of fundamental skills from this deck and potentially from the ‘Ultimate Guide to Coaching Skills’ the risk with these new skills you attempt to save the world in way shape or form.
And please continue to strive to do that – in the right way with the right skills. Too many people when first gifted with this skill set think they can deal with anything and everything.
There is a distinct difference between coaching and counseling please remember this and get the right help for the right people at the right time.
Solution – If you wish to further your skills in either of these spaces please do. We’re happy to help with Coaching skills, get a call back from the Team and find out how we can help with your training. Otherwise please seek an appropriate authority in the space you wish to develop your counseling skills; bereavement, marriage or substance abuse to name but a few.
- Wrong environment
Easy mistake to make, especially if we’ve gone deep into a subject very quickly and you both feel safe in the space you’re working.
Regrettable, being comfortable in your workspace can often lead to full conversations being held around the printer or the coffee machine – not ideal. I know full well where to get the best office intel from and that’s from the person that sits nearest to both of those appliances.
Solution – Get a room, and specifically one that the coachee feels most comfortable in.
Additionally to this, for myself as a Coach being able to see a clock without having to actually look at it so that it incorrectly appears I’m distracted or clock watching.
And also, TV. A lot of places now have TV’s dotted around the canteen or office and I’ve fallen foul of this. The noise can often be mentally canceled out but the moving pictures will constantly draw your eye.
- Lingering on the negative
Something Happens, we’re giving feedback and we stay stuck in the current moment, or in the current negative thinking, the problem, the breakage, the error. Rather than focusing on the thing we need to do, the next best action we have to take or the new level of learning we can acquire from the moment we stay and never progress our people.
Appreciative inquiry is one name for this, feeding forward is another.
Solution – Use questions that help to evolve the setback and propel the coachee beyond the previous understanding that caused the set back in the first place.
“Be curious, not judgemental” said Walt Whitman.
Everything that is happening at any given moment is just data. The moment we start seeing this idea in our coaching the easier it is for us to ask the next best question and help people move forward.
“The moment you judge someone you cannot influence them”
In short if I think you’re an idiot how do I treat you? Like an idiot, and if I’m doing that will I be speaking to you in a way that is conducive to building a healthy, progressive relationship?
Not sure I need to answer that one.
Solution – Be curious, ask more questions from a place of love and respect.
- “What do you think…”
This is the by far the rookiest questioning mistake many new coaching leaders make and super easy to fall into.
“I need help with this boss, what should I do in this situation?”
“What do you think you should do?”
Problem – they’re not thinking which is why they’re asking you. Asking them what do you think is just going to add unnecessary frustration and a sprinkle of potential patronisation.
Solution – Start a collaborative conversation where you engage in a 2-way conversation that stimulates thinking.
Action – 4 Things;
1. Look at the positives, in the situation, and in the person.
2. Then, find out what they already know and look for the next best solutions in a way where they find it and remember, they have more answers than they probably realise.
3. If you need to get more support to support their thinking from another dept, do so, and if you need to get deeper skills in coaching to help elevate your team higher, do so.
4. Finally, write down your top 3 Keepers from the above and also, email me directly, let me know what else you’d like to include in this list; [email protected]
Additional Resources that will Help You
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